Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
