Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
