apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
