Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
