Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
