May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
