tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
