U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
