I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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