He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
