either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
