I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
