In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
