He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
