Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im holly from the hills drunk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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