chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
