y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
