Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
