dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
