I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sext me about skeletons
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
