Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
