shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
