This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
