ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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