And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
