I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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