every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
