I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Houston, we have a blender
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
