How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Quick, to the slutcave!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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