I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
