Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
why do cheetos always look like penises
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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