Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
