before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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