so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
