Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
