people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
