There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
