I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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