let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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