What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
