I faked an abortion last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
