When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
