Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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