I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
