Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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