well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
