at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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