u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
did i walk over a car last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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