That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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