i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
